FINALLY A BREATHER

We are normally a busy family but in addition to summer and in addition to our adoption process, I am on overload!! I am mentally okay dealing with the busy schedule and keeping track of it all, relying on little sleep. But physically I was wiped out yesterday, I think it all just caught up to me. SO, today was the last day of the crazy back to back to back work/meetings/appts/errands....we are headed as a family to stay at my parent's. 


This place is going to my happy place.  I have at different functions in my life been asked to close my eyes and imagine you are in a place that is joyful, calming, welcoming, where you feel the safest...well home is my place. Home includes a beautiful lake surrounded by pine tree covered mountains and blue sky. A lake that is full of the sounds of summer, boats and wave runners gliding across the water, and squeals of glee from children at the public "beach" across the bay. Home includes my mom and dad...nothing better than the comfort of my family. Laughter, conversation, cups of coffee on the deck to greet you, swimsuits and wet towels hanging from the banister and home cooked meals that always taste better when Dad prepares them.AHHHHHH.....SIIIIGGGHHHHH. The rest and relaxation is flowing over my soul already! 


We have our home visit scheduled for our homestudy August 12th! Everything is just falling into place. Our background checks that are supposed to take 6-8 weeks came back in 1 week!! Can you believe it?!  Our psych evals have been completed and turned in and we passed with flying colors. (Why is it that i KNEW we would have nothing to worry about, but there was still nervous anticipation while waiting for the report results!?)  Lance and I have 10 hours of adoption training to complete and finish up our autobiography and then our meeting on the 12th. I can't believe what the Lord has allowed us to accomplish in the last two and a half weeks since we were officially committed to Rush!! 


My bible verse for the day was Psalm 126. This road may be hard, we may cry tears of frustration or impatience, or sadness....but the Lord will bring great joy, and we will will be filled with laughter and sing songs of joy and others will say, "What amazing things the LORD has done for them!" Its not to us, but to your name be the glory, LORD. 


I was feeling impatient with knowing the waiting I will be doing in the months to come. Worrying over wondering if she is being loved by at least one someone, if her cries are being answered, if she is being played with, if over this time her heart condition is getting worse. Thinking, Rush is not wanted by ANYONE, WE WANT HER...why does it take months and tons of $$ to make that match?? I will say I am glad that they are thorough, so that children are not being placed with people with bad intentions (sad world we live in). I was at a women's night at our church Monday night carrying all this stress and worry and while sitting in my chair I knew the Lord was saying, "Erika, she was mine first. I love her more than you can even imagine, I want her to know me more than you can even fathom, trust me to take care of her while she waits for you." She is my daughter second, she is my gift and I am letting go of the worry and prayerfully giving my daughter to Him.

Just let go, and let God work.