TRUE JOY SHOULD NOT BE DEPENDENT ON YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES

It is something that is God given...and boy am i filled with joy, even through another difficult unknown waiting period!!

The Monday after we returned from our first visit, we learned that the city our daughter is living in has decided to discontinue working with American agencies until further notice. Although, they did said that they just hadn't yet figured out a policy for the families that have already met their child and accepted the legal referral, which is the category we fall into. They could have said they were no longer working with any families no matter where they are in the process, but they didn't, we haven't been given a "NO YOU CAN'T PROCEED FOR THE TIME BEING" just that they haven't really talked about how to handle us. I chose to see this as the silver lining. They said that hopefully they would have some information about how things will proceed after the presidential elections were over (which were March 4th, LAST Sunday). So now that the elections are over, we are just waiting for more information, waiting to hear when we can submit our paperwork to the courts, and receive our second travel dates.

In order to be efficient, I mailed our court dossier to our agency the week before we left for our first visit, in hopes that it could be forwarded to our in country coordinator immediately and begin being translated the week after we left. I was doing everything I could to minimize the time between our first visit and our court date! As soon as this news came out, our agency and in country coordinator decided to put everything on hold until they had some more information. SO, our dossier has been sitting on our agency's desk, completed, apostilled, and ready to go. We still haven't heard anything about our process and how and if they will allow us to proceed. BUT, recently our in-country coordinator asked our agency to forward our paperwork to her to translate, so that it would be COMPLETELY ready to go, as soon as they gave her the word. Which i am hoping means she is expecting some movement in the near future!!! Our paperwork was forwarded on March 1st, and hopefully would be translated and ready to go by the end of this week.

When we got this news, I was naturally upset and frustrated for a couple hours because, gosh, I had done EVERYTHING in my power to get all that paperwork collected (which was a definite challenge!) and apostilled in order to turn it in BEFORE we even left so our turn around time would be EVEN sooner...but I was quickly reminded that God's timing is ALWAYS more beautiful than mine could ever be. He knows what he's doing and I am blessed enough to know I have the great almighty God of creation on my team, working for us. Even when we have what seem like delays, God is never sitting back doing nothing, he is constantly moving and orchestrating this beautiful story of our lives. 

I was reminded that we were really gifted a MIRACLE to be able to meet our daughter. This city has technically been closed since last Aug/Sept...6 months they have been CLOSED to accepting new families into the adoption program. Our coordinator was able to get permission to submit our registration dossier to the committee in December when they were closed...MIRACLE. We were blessed to be gifted a travel date to meet our daughter when they were still closed...MIRACLE. The day we left from our daughter's country after spending an incredible week was the DAY that they announced this further closure...MIRACLE. The Lord gifted us this miracle of time with our daughter, and literally allowed us to slip right in at the right moments.

 We were gifted with our daughter's presence...She is no longer just a photograph. She is a warm little body that melts into the curves of my arms like she was designed to fit there. She is a little girl with laughter that is so sweet it brings tears to my eyes. She my daughter with beautifully squishy cheeks that I was able to smother with kisses. 

We were gifted with knowledge...a couple months ago, we had the natural fears about the unknowns. We were praying fervently for the BEST case scenario, but FULLY willing to accept the worst case scenario. We went into this process for our daughter, whatever her package looked like, the Lord called us to be her parents, and we knew that whatever he had wrapped up in her package that he had designed us with the tools to care for her. Lance and I discussed the possibilities of these unknowns before we left and we knew there was NOTHING in her file that would scare us away from being her parents. She could have had the worst history, the scariest medical or behavioral issues, living in the worst environment, and we were still SO CONFIDENT that the Lord called us to her, that none of those unknowns even at the worst case were fears in our minds. (Aren't we so grateful that the Lord will NEVER turn us down or even bat an eye at what's in our file...all our ugly history and behaviors...he confidently loves us and accepts us as we are!!! AMAZING!!!) The Lord answered EVERY prayer 10 fold!!! It wasn't only the best we expected but EVEN BETTER! We were gifted the answers to all of those  unknowns that we had a couple months ago...she is healthy, she is LOVED by her caregivers, she is in a safe good orphanage, she was loving and received love and affection from us. The gift of knowledge set our hearts at ease.

We were gifted with hundreds of photos and videos...I was lucky and had 6 photos of Rush from various ages since pretty much the beginning of our process, some families only have 1! But now I have albums and albums to scroll through, which i scroll through EVERY DAY! 

So, I have true joy through this unexpected waiting period, not because my circumstances demand joy, but because my heavenly father deserves it!!! I am so very grateful to him for the gift of time with my daughter, and if we have to wait for a period of time, i will wait joyfully!  I have a confident hope that he is never sitting on the sidelines in my life doing nothing, he is working and we know he loves us and our little girl more than we could ever imagine!! 

The harder the journey or circumstances, the more opportunities the Lord has to show his divinity and glory... Use my life Lord to shine your glory to the ends of the earth!!